Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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