i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
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I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
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When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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