i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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