"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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