Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
they're like a gay fantastic four
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
