This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
