he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
