There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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