When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
