After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
