So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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