This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
