Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
