Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Shame is for Republicans.
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