I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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