i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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