Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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