have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
