Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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