he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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