He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
don't judge my taste in strippers
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
