WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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