you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
