Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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