I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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