well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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