They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize