I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You can't just leave with hair like that
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
