Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I was not drunk enough for that final.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
