he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize