I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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