I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
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