There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
