I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
she peed on how many people?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
