a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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