Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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