the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
