I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize