Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Randomize
