Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My hand turned me down
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
