So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize