Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
