If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
