maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
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