Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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