sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
