this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
we're making bets on your personal life
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
