Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
