I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
