May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize