they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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