I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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