i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
