You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize