i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
