i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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