turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
