honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
