But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
